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Replica Hermes Dear Coleen: My abusive husband slept around but then he blamed me for our split”I found out just before he left that he’d been on several dating sites and had been meeting women for sex, so I had to get tested for STIs”‘He lied to me then left to move in with this other woman’ (Image: Getty Images)Get daily news updates directly to your inboxSubscribeSee our privacy noticeMore newslettersThank you for subscribingWe have more newslettersShow meSee our privacy noticeCould not subscribe, try again laterInvalid EmailDear Coleen Two and a half years ago my husband of 21 years announced that he no longer wanted to be married toHe said he’d pretended to be someone he wasn’t all his life and now that his parents were dead he could finally be himself.He told our three children (aged 20, 18 and 13 at the time) and me that there was no one else involved.He accused me of being abusive, even though he’d been emotionally abusive throughout our marriage.I also found out just before he left that he’d been on several dating sites and had been meeting women for sex, so I had to get tested for STIs.When he moved out, he moved in with one of these women and is now engaged to her.I have our now 15 year old daughter for 85% of the time, even though I suggested a 50/50 split, so it means I can only find freelance work and I’m constantly worried about money.He pays child maintenance, but I was unsuccessful in trying to get spousal support.I’m struggling to rebuild a life at 53 and I’m terrified of using dating sites. I don’t meet single men in everyday life and my confidence is through the floor.Dear Coleen: ‘We’ve been married 20 years but I can’t get over husband’s affair’Coleen says I wouldn’t make finding a new your focus. Often when you’re desperately looking you don’t find it or you make bad choices.Focus on yourself and moving on from your marriage, and feeling stronger emotionally so you’re in a much better place when you do meet someone else.Understandably, you must still be carrying a lot of anger from the break up.The unfairness must be hard to bear he can just move on while you’re still struggling. Replica Hermes

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